its been really ages since i've blogged..

well, to tell you the truth.. i was rather busy with events, driving theory practices and i'm happy of 1 thing.. =] i managed to pass my basic theory test with just 1 attempt and am the 1st to go out of the test room.. haha*.. wasn't really confident.. was nervous breakdown inside.. everyone was so stressed.. but glad most of the people sitting beside me also passed.. =]..

spent like $500plus on my finals and practical lessons.. gone.. the money just gone..
=[

well, as a said again.. i felt hurt.. really hurt.. by guys now.. u know something.. have you ever come across anyone... :

*tells you about their ex when you're offically their bf/gf?
*tells you how they treated them and how impt they are to him/her?
*flirt with someone whom you know esp when you already ARE his gf /her bf?
*ask you to promise him/her that YOU WILL FORGET WHAT he/she did?

and.. when u cant.. he/she will put the blame on you for breaking the promise..

tell me guys... can you all tolerate this person?

Is not that i promised and i broke that promise.. i felt so deeply hurt.. but tell me, wat can i do??
have given him a chance..it may be the past.. but, can i really forget what you did?
*IMAGINE*
you took a knife and stabbed me real hard a few times and expecting me to forget you ever stabbed me before, and when i recall those painful things you've done, i bring up what you've done, not bcoz i want to warn you, but to let you know you shld treat me better and love me well.
You put the blame on me for bringing up the past and push the blame all on me. The hurt was doubled! I felt so horribly sad. Am i wrong to tell you that i missed you so much? Am i wrong to request a warm hug from you? Am i wrong to tell you how i felt when the fact is i want to be near and close to you??

And when you did hugged me after i requested, what i had was the most :( hug i've ever had in my life. THE VERY 1ST TIME i've felt i'm not close to you at all. Dont put the blame on me saying its coz of me that's why you don't hug me. well, though you really did out the blame on me, you should really find out why..

**
for this whole week, i've been so emotional that my few msges to you all was about i'm thinking of you, i love you, i miss you and all my feelings. i've even asked , am i the only girl makes you want to spend the rest of your life with, and am i the only girl you loves the most?

**
you'll never feel the hurt and sadness which i've cried the whole last night.

The matter of fact is that, you heard me crying so badly, but you carried on the blaming game and it makes me made up my mind, i cant carry on being like this.

I've been trying my very best to be the best girl for you, but you've pushed me out of your life.


**

i've been once hurt by someone i loved before, i told you before that if you'll ever hurt me like how it happened before, i will never commit. but i'm sucha fool to believe that you'll not hurt me. But the fact is You are the One who HURT me the most, The person who made me cried so much within a year!!

So, tell me, how can i forget those painful things?

If i'm really not worthy and am a fucked up girlfriend for this going 1 year r/s, den i guess i've to make a choice to leave you. leave you so you can be happy and find someone so much better than me.

For me,
i don't think i wanna commit into any r/s now. its really hurtful when you love the person so much but the person just hurt you back double. like i'm risking my love to get hurt from you.

but i shld thank debra and cindy and of coz, someone for being there when i needed a listening ear. =] friends always sweeties..